Beta Reading

1.    I think that the abundance of dialogue contributes to this story because it allows the reader to follow on better. It helps the reader feel like they are part of the story. since it makes it easier for them to visualize what is happening. However, I thought that the dialogue where Adrian talked about Filipino folklore became a little bit lifeless. The dialogue went back and forth, and got a little bland. I think that section needs a little bit more emotion, especially from Dorothy.
2.    I thought that the in-depth details about Filipino folklore was pretty interesting. I felt like I learned something new, but I do not think it is really significant in the story. I thought it was kind of excessive, and weird for a teenager to talk about. I find that pretty unfitting seeing how a regular teenager at a lively party would not normally talk about folklore. They would be talking about something less dull like their feelings.
3.    As I said before, I thought that Dorothy needed a little bit more emotion in the story when Adrian talked about Filipino folklore. She sounded bored, which makes sense considering she is a teenager, but she also seemed interested in the details, which contradicts her being uninterested. I think it would be more appropriate if she acted more attentive, or just completely disinterested.
4.    The cultural elements didn’t feel forced at first when Adrian talked about his family in the Philippines, but when he got to talking about the moon, it felt a little bit unnatural especially since it was tied in due to the corny idea of gazing at the moon by the lake.
6.    I don’t think Adrian is too compelling. He isn’t overloading Dorothy with his background information. Just enough so that she is included in the conversation. Plus, he did not seem very demanding. He was a gentleman when he respected what Dorothy said and when he helped her in and out of the car to her door.
In the end, I think that this story is pretty interesting and modern. I think that the problems, like the Filipino folklore conversation, I saw would be resolved if I knew more about the overall story.